Something disturbing happened to me a few days ago at the grocery store…

Before I begin, it is important to note that I wasn’t at my best. I had showered but my wavy hair was tied up in a ponytail and I was sans make-up.

Back to the story. While walking down the dairy aisle, I couldn’t help but notice an older gentleman lingering a little too long over the cottage cheese. I happened to glance up and he shot me a shy little smile. 

I smiled back because it’s the courteous thing to do. Then suddenly I realized, it wasn’t a friendly smile, instead, he was checking me out.

Now, for clarification, when I say he was older, I mean, he had to have been in his mid-seventies. Mid-seventies! Definitely old enough to be my father. 

I moved quickly, stayed focused on my list, and kept my head down. It seemed like a good strategy but my attempts were in vain. Everywhere I went, there he was. We managed to cross paths several more times before I was able to check out and haul it to the parking lot. I thought I was home free.

As I was fishing my keys out of my purse and walking to my car. I noticed a late model truck parked next to me. To my horror, I realized it was him.

I quickly opened the back hatch and loaded my bags into the car.

He dilly-dallied by his vehicle; undoubtedly trying to think of something clever to say.  He made a little joke that I didn’t really hear. I half-heartedly smiled and jumped in the car as quickly as I could. 

The whole thing was disturbing. Not because he was creepy, because he wasn’t. I didn’t get that vibe from him at all. He was just an older gentleman who was probably lonely and looking for companionship. Of course, I wasn’t interested in interviewing for the job but I could still empathize.

That wasn’t the part that was disturbing.    

My problem was much more superficial.

My problem was that a man of his age actually thought he had a shot with me! How old did he think I was?

Surely it was evident I was way too young for him. Surely he could see that, right?  Like I said, I knew I wasn’t at my best but I try to take care of myself. I have even been told I look younger than my years. I thought I was aging pretty well. Right? The whole thing really bothered me. As I thought about it; I realized; his interest in me made me feel…well…old. 

In the last year or so, something has started to happen. I have noticed my eyes seem to look tired sometimes. Every once in a while, I will get a pain in my knee when I walk up stairs, not everyday but on occasion. My hair isn’t the same as it was when I was younger. The texture is different and of course there is the odd gray strand that peeps out.

All these clues point to a cold hard truth that I have tried so desperately to ignore.

I have been reluctant to admit it, but no matter how much I deny it, I am aging. Sigh…

What frustrates me is that I am finally in a great place in my life. I am more confident than I have ever been. I am trying new things and using my gifts and talents in ways my younger self would have been too self conscious to do. I have joy. Joy that eluded me for much of my youth.

As I was leaving the store, I had to check in with myself. 

Why did that make me feel old?  As I gave it some thought, I realized it had to do with my attitude about aging. I had to come to terms with the idea that–yes– I am aging, but instead of needlessly fighting it, perhaps I should learn to embrace it. So, I came up with three positive thoughts about getting older. 

Things I’ve Learned about Aging

Aging can bring about inner beauty.

For those twenty-something women with perky breasts and flawless skin; trust me, it will change. When you are young you think you can avoid it but everyone ages. Aging doesn’t have to be a depressing downward spiral that ends at the funeral home. Instead it can be a beautiful process. When you get older, you care less what people think and learn to listen to your inner voice. You develop confidence and bravery you may not have had before.

Getting older can be a time to cultivate inner beauty. Travel, learn something new, take a class. After all, real beauty truly does come from the inside and there are no age limits. Inner beauty shines through, no matter how many years there are on your calendar.

Aging brings about authenticity.

I have learned quite a bit about myself in my years on this planet. I have learned that loving myself is the foundation of inner beauty. In my youth I spent so much time pleasing other people and trying to be someone else. I have learned that being inauthentic isn’t pretty. It creates bitterness, frustration, anxiety, and anger. Never a good look. Learning who I am helped me be fearless so I can show the world what I am really made of.

Aging is a gift.

Sticking around a while surely “beats the alternative.” Life is precious gift and learning to enjoy the time we have is our responsibility. As I get older I am learning to open my heart with less fear. I am learning to love without expectation of anything in return. I am learning to see beauty in the world. And I have noticed an interesting thing. When I look for beauty, I find it. When I open myself to love, I am loved in return. When I am brave, I break down barriers that made me stagnant in the past  and I am free to live as myself and not some cheap imitation. 

There is no doubt, aging is tough.

It is humbling to be called “Ma’am” or to hear, “you look good for your age” by the younger folks. Of course It’s even harder to be checked out by a card carrying member of AARP but there are positives to the aging process.

With the right mindset, aging can be a beautiful thing.